I watched the Uma Thurman movie Motherhood yesterday via Netflix. It’s about a day in the life of a frazzled mommy blogger who throws together a birthday party for her daughter and completes a 500 word essay defining motherhood for a magazine contest. I can definitely relate, right? So, despite the horrible reviews, I watched it.
This film earned under $100,000 in the U.S., and a whopping 11 people watched it opening weekend in the UK (source: Huffington Post). And, as much as the producers are blaming marketing for the financial disaster, they may just be overlooking one little problem: the movie sucks. (more…)
In addition to rapping Top That in New Jersey, I also spent some quality time in Brooklyn at EZ Cracker’s place, AKA, Lips Lounge. Hangin’ out at Lips Lounge makes you feel both sassy and crafty. Like Amy Sadaris.
While lounging on the lip sofa, appreciating the abundance of cheetah print and oversized feline stuffed animals, I grabbed the classical guitar that rests near the sofa. Oh my. This is like a Spanish guitar! Images of bullfighters and bossomy women flashed before my eyes. And, right on cue, EZ Cracker busted out some Charo videos. (more…)
During my latest trip to Brooklyn and northern New Jersey, my best friends and I recorded ourselves performing the infamous Top That rap from the classic 80s film Teen Witch. What follows is that rap plus a montage of shenanigans that most people would consider embarrassing. As Ryan said, this is total blackmail material. And it totally would be, if we gave a shit. But we don’t. In fact, we mostly wonder why more people don’t create ridiculous videos in their spare time.
This is our own interpretation of Teen Witch. The idea was to make it more witch, less teen. So don’t expect it to stay true to the script. We are far too lazy for total accuracy. Plus, we were drunk while filming.
Mel Warren G – Melissa, my bestest friend since the age of 15. We met in French class when she was sick with a fever, and I mothered her back to health. Melissa makes me laugh like no one else. We are both proud owners of siamese cats: hers is a total bitch, while mine is just slightly aloof. This is true of our personalities, as well.
EZ Cracker – Ryan, who has been making up skits with me since we were itty bitty and played in a band with me as teens called Trapped and Shadow (we’re totally making a comeback, so get ready…). Ryan and I tend to pretend like we’re in sit-coms ALL THE TIME, much to the annoyance of the rest of the planet. In our minds, our life is a sit-com, a really bad one from the 80s that only we find humorous.
Junkyard Jaimes – Me. I blame my tendency to perform on my mother and her six sisters who use every family occasion as an excuse to sing and dance. They recently performed a dance to the song love lock on my porkchop for my great aunt’s 90th birthday, which had my mom dressed as a sexy pig with a porkchop dangling from her pants.
So, here’s the video. It’s called (un)hip. The reason for the name should be obvious. It’s like E.T., Hairspray, and Footloose all rolled into one epic piece of mind fuckery. You will laugh, wince, and probably be embarrassed for us. We’re ok with that.
My family was invited to the premier of Lookingglass Alice at the Alliance Theatre in Atlanta. It was an 8 o’clock show, which is pretty late for the kids. They made it through the whole thing, which gives you some idea of how good this show is.
Lookingglass Alice is written and directed by David Catlin of Chicago’s Lookingglass Theatre Company. The play is adapted from both Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass. The Lookingglass Theatre Company has put on this show since 1987 when David Catlin and David Schwimmer scraped together enough cash to start a theatre group.
Lookingglass Alice is every bit as magical as the Lewis Carroll stories that inspired the play. It is a musical, but also a circus. It is childlike, but also philosophical. It is funny, and also tragic. It is full of special effects, but reveals its own secrets. As Alice travels through time, desperate to become queen, the audience is both mesmerized by the make-believe wonderland and rudely jolted back to reality, over and over again. (more…)
After I stood in a warrant line for three hours in Atlanta, and before I left for my trip to NYC/NJ, I posted something about how no one would greet me at LaGuardia with alohas and leis. Well, I was wrong. Ryan had to be a smart ass and showed up with this:
And Melissa stocked her fridge with sweet tea. And, everyone was really nice, even perfect strangers. Fine. Yet another life lesson in why you shouldn’t stereotype people! I get it. It turns out me and my Virginian friends are the biggest jerks in New Jersey. (more…)
Corin Tucker of the bands Heavens to Betsy and Sleater Kinney is releasing a solo album on Kill Rock Stars. The mama of two told The Portland Mercury these new songs are more grown up and sentimental but still in the same neighborhood as Sleater Kinney. Corin is recording with Sara Lund (drummer from the amazing Unwound) and Seth Lorinczi (Golden Bears). (more…)