top that, aka, total blackmail material
23 Apr
During my latest trip to Brooklyn and northern New Jersey, my best friends and I recorded ourselves performing the infamous Top That rap from the classic 80s film Teen Witch. What follows is that rap plus a montage of shenanigans that most people would consider embarrassing. As Ryan said, this is total blackmail material. And it totally would be, if we gave a shit. But we don’t. In fact, we mostly wonder why more people don’t create ridiculous videos in their spare time.
This is our own interpretation of Teen Witch. The idea was to make it more witch, less teen. So don’t expect it to stay true to the script. We are far too lazy for total accuracy. Plus, we were drunk while filming.
The players this time around should be familiar if you watched the Drunken Deceptacons video.
Mel Warren G – Melissa, my bestest friend since the age of 15. We met in French class when she was sick with a fever, and I mothered her back to health. Melissa makes me laugh like no one else. We are both proud owners of siamese cats: hers is a total bitch, while mine is just slightly aloof. This is true of our personalities, as well.
EZ Cracker – Ryan, who has been making up skits with me since we were itty bitty and played in a band with me as teens called Trapped and Shadow (we’re totally making a comeback, so get ready…). Ryan and I tend to pretend like we’re in sit-coms ALL THE TIME, much to the annoyance of the rest of the planet. In our minds, our life is a sit-com, a really bad one from the 80s that only we find humorous.
Junkyard Jaimes – Me. I blame my tendency to perform on my mother and her six sisters who use every family occasion as an excuse to sing and dance. They recently performed a dance to the song love lock on my porkchop for my great aunt’s 90th birthday, which had my mom dressed as a sexy pig with a porkchop dangling from her pants.
So, here’s the video. It’s called (un)hip. The reason for the name should be obvious. It’s like E.T., Hairspray, and Footloose all rolled into one epic piece of mind fuckery. You will laugh, wince, and probably be embarrassed for us. We’re ok with that.
OH.MY.EFFING.GOD! That was hilarious! Was EZ Cracker Ryan trying to be Teen Witch or Jambi from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse…
I don’t know what I liked best… the “razzle dazzle,” the amazing dancing/singing OR the abundance of cheetah print…
I am ready for the next video!
Is this what happens when you don’t have neighbors living upstairs?
Good question! A little of both, tho I can’t really speak for him. And, yes, Melissa has so much cheetah print in her apt, as does Ryan. I’m so impressed that she owns cheetah pants!
We are already planning our next video. Feel free to make recommendations for us!!!
Yes, although neighbors probably would not stop us. We are relentless in our pursuit of “art.”
OMG, I just pissed myself !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mel #2, that is such a compliment. Thank you!!!
OH MY GOD. SO FUCKING FUNNY. I completely forgot about that movie until you started ..’TOP THAT’. Hysterical. Funny thing is, I thought I was the only person who actually watched it..and more than once.
Kim, so glad you’re a fan of Teen Witch! Ryan and I watched it countless times growing up. Be proud!
I just realized my kids have NEVER seen Teen Witch, but now they don’t have to! You guys did such a good job, it may be better than the original!!! Very Dramatic, good job!!!
The next video has to be a modernization of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988) with Ryan rappin “I’m a bitch in black.” O-fah can play Gonk, Junkyard Jaimes & Mel Warren G can play the devils dancing with Mistress Ryan!
Yes, Corrie! Excellent suggestion. Ryan and I did discuss the Elvira rap during my visit, and it is a real possibility for our next video. We will need you for wardrobe assistance, for sure!!!
Keep the ideas coming. Glad I could give you some comic relief during finals:)
Awesome!