positively pornocraftic!
20 May
There is art. There is pornography. And then there is Regresty. And the combination of these elements is positively pornocraftic. I mean, you gotta love a website that has an entire category dedicated to vagina-inspired arts and crafts.
The photos above are real items you can buy for yourself or a loved one, such as…
the Frida Kahlo uterus plushie,
the vampire mini-pad (it’s good for the environment, ladies!),
the uterus pillow to rest your weary head,
the paint-by-vagina splotchy number,
the wool coochie necklace, and the
uterus goddess bowl (who wouldn’t want to eat cereal out of that?).
The human body has long inspired artists. Think of Michaelangelo’s David, Georgia O’Keefe, and all those incredible goddess statues that find their way to birthing classes across the nation. And then we have the playfully sexy pin-up art of Alberto Vargas, the early days of Playboy (read before plastic surgery became the norm), and in some circles, those Glamor Shots photo sessions at the mall where the photographer takes shots of you holding the popped collar of your jean jacket.
But in the mix of all this creative buzz, there are those arts and crafters who just completely miss the freakin’ mark. I’m not even talking about blow-up dolls or those Japanese pillow lovers. Those are just a manufactured means to a perverted end. I’m also not talking about dirty jokes in the form of boobie cake pans and penis noodles. That’s just good ol’ fashioned funny. I mean well-intentioned tributes to the human body by people who consider themselves artists in the purest sense. Art doesn’t have to be good to fit the definition, but a wool vagina necklace? Really? This is how you want to show girl power?
God bless these artists for trying. And I do mean that in the “bless her heart” Southern tradition that is equal parts sympathetic and condescending. Maybe we can coin the phrase, “bless her art” for these occasions when pieces of art do not inspire awe or admiration, but rather, produce the same reaction as happening upon a puddle of sushi-laden puke in the parking lot of a Japanese restaurant after a night of too much sake. Yuck.
I agree with you. You look at it and can just say… “seriously?”
Totally not on Etsy – here are two of my favorite WTF products:
01. Proud Pussy Ring – I may have shown you this before… I LOVE the photo displaying the ring on the young boys head. Nothing says “I’m proud of my vagina,” like wearing it on your finger, then resting that finger on your 6YO’s head!!!
02. Vulva Orginal Scent – Vagina Scent for your smelling pleasure. NICE!
First of all, let me say you’re one of the best at finding WTF items on the internet, and I am both impressed and grateful for your skills!!!
Second of all, holy shit, that dude totally sniffed a sweaty bike seat.
And lastly, as the summer fast approaches, please remember to tell your daughter “Don’t touch that, you might get sand in.”
The sniffing of the sweaty bike seat is HILARIOUS. The sad thing it, they are DEAD serious with that product. I almost want to buy it… just to see what bottled vagina smells like.