During my latest trip to Brooklyn and northern New Jersey, my best friends and I recorded ourselves performing the infamous Top That rap from the classic 80s film Teen Witch. What follows is that rap plus a montage of shenanigans that most people would consider embarrassing. As Ryan said, this is total blackmail material. And it totally would be, if we gave a shit. But we don’t. In fact, we mostly wonder why more people don’t create ridiculous videos in their spare time.
This is our own interpretation of Teen Witch. The idea was to make it more witch, less teen. So don’t expect it to stay true to the script. We are far too lazy for total accuracy. Plus, we were drunk while filming.
The players this time around should be familiar if you watched the Drunken Deceptacons video.
Mel Warren G – Melissa, my bestest friend since the age of 15. We met in French class when she was sick with a fever, and I mothered her back to health. Melissa makes me laugh like no one else. We are both proud owners of siamese cats: hers is a total bitch, while mine is just slightly aloof. This is true of our personalities, as well.
EZ Cracker – Ryan, who has been making up skits with me since we were itty bitty and played in a band with me as teens called Trapped and Shadow (we’re totally making a comeback, so get ready…). Ryan and I tend to pretend like we’re in sit-coms ALL THE TIME, much to the annoyance of the rest of the planet. In our minds, our life is a sit-com, a really bad one from the 80s that only we find humorous.
Junkyard Jaimes – Me. I blame my tendency to perform on my mother and her six sisters who use every family occasion as an excuse to sing and dance. They recently performed a dance to the song love lock on my porkchop for my great aunt’s 90th birthday, which had my mom dressed as a sexy pig with a porkchop dangling from her pants.
So, here’s the video. It’s called (un)hip. The reason for the name should be obvious. It’s like E.T., Hairspray, and Footloose all rolled into one epic piece of mind fuckery. You will laugh, wince, and probably be embarrassed for us. We’re ok with that.